she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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