There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
