my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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