He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
