Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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