I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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