my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
