and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
