marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
