So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize