After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
