the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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