She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
