ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
