i cant cry in cvs. not again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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