he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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