Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
