Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
