it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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