Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize