I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize