I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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