problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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