What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
