just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
