Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
