Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
