We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize