never play flip cup with pint glasses
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
