I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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