we made out on top of his cat.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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