Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
