The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
