He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
