hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize