I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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