after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
