Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
