Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
