even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
