dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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