her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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