Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
