can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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