Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
