During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
