Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
