we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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