I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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