Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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