it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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