I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
