apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
