guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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