and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
