just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
