I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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