I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
