Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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