Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
