Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
