Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
