in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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