Pappa wants mamma naked
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize