How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
