I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
